Looking back at this past year, a lot has changed. When it became 2023, I had a three-month old son, was still trying to cling to “the fun” I had created with two kids, and I was scrolling social media for hours every day. My diet was anything that I wanted, even when it made me sick, and I had no structure to my week because of the life changing event of adding a third child.
At the beginning of this year, God gave me a word: Abide.
I didn’t consider it too much, but I knew it would be helpful to me spiritually along the year.
What I didn’t anticipate was it carrying my through the life-seasons this year.
From terrible sleep with a teething baby, to my back going out for a few days to a few weeks every month, to ever-increasing food sensitivities, He has called me to abide in Him.
Food changes
This year saw more cuts from my diet. I had to cut out eggs and wheat/gluten. I also cut out eating dates, for oral allergy symptoms.
I haven’t had allergy testing done so I can’t say if it’s a true allergy or a food sensitivity. But with each of these foods, 20 minutes after eating them I am in intense gut pain and cramping for hours to days, depending on how much I consumed.
I’ve don’t my own home-tests to determine what to cut. It goes like this:
Eat the food I think is causing me intestinal distress. Wait 20 minutes. Assess symptoms.
Bloating, cramping, urgent trips to the bathroom, and feeling anxious or angry over nothing are all triggers that I look for when testing for food sensitivities, for myself. Also, if there’s an obvious allergic reaction like hives, throat closing or itching, or sudden mouth swelling, it’s time to stop eating those foods too.
Eggs and wheat hit the sensitivity boxes. Dates make my mouth itch, and I finally decided to start paying attention.
This year, I also cut out chocolate for my oldest daughter. She absolutely loves chocolate, but it throws her into a blind raging fit that she later cannot recall.
I, too, am sensitive to chocolate from a neurological point. My mother was as well, and I have both a sister and a niece that have nightmares after consuming chocolate. So, as disappointing as it is for a kid to not have chocolate, she’s a better version of herself without it.
I remembered how much better I function as a hypoglycemic person by eating a ketogenic diet. And while I haven’t been strict about it, I do try to keep close to what I know is right for my body.
My food pattern is this:
Bone broth with collagen in the morning.
Salad with greens, nuts, fruits, chicken, and vinaigrette for breakfast.
Bone broth soup for lunch.
Apple or pear with nut butter and a glass of apple cider vinegar water for a snack.
Big plate of veggies, protein, and healthy fats for dinner.
Canned coconut milk on berries or in golden milk as an evening snack.
Looking at that list, I really do miss eating like that. It can get boring quickly, but I’m reminded that “life is more than food” from the Bible, and I find something else to enjoy in my day.
Appearance
At the beginning of February I was determined to be more fashionable and buy clothes that were in style. This looked like ripped flared jeans, mom jeans, jackets and blazers for layering, and a phase of white t-shirts. I thought I would relax into caring about fashion, but really, I just don’t.
While a lot of the clothes I got were so comfortable and I liked them, they really weren’t practical for my lifestyle with little kids.
I ditched the denim, and have adapted a uniform: black leggings and printed sweatshirts.
My middle child snapped a picture of me from behind while I was wearing my mom jeans. And, while the jeans were incredibly comfortable, I got rid of them as soon as I saw what I looked like. I’m not shallow, but I would like to be attractive in my clothing and these jeans had the opposite effect. So when I saw a deal on leggings at Costco, I stocked up and now have 6 pairs of black leggings with one day each week for real pants – but only if I want them.
As for tops, I love to wear mostly stripes, but my favorites from last year are still my favorites this year: my sweatshirt with koi fish and my half-zip gray-blue sweatshirt from my honeymoon. I feel so myself in them, and they keep me feeling confident in whatever I need to do that day.
I also have an emerald green carhartt hat that is an easy decide-once-wear on cold days. A pair of brown side-zip boots gets us out of the house quickly and I’m set.
I really wanted to eliminate decision fatigue when it came to my clothes and I think I’m getting there. By only keeping what I really love to wear, I’m able to feel like myself in my clothes and not worry about what society would have me think I should wear.
Social Media
In January, our church did a sermon series on stillness. It was based on Psalm 46:10 and was about using the stillness to know God deeper. So I took it to heart and practiced stillness in that first week of the year.
I didn’t expect to hear back from God so quickly.
I knelt down on my kitchen floor and sat still in the post-bedtime quiet. I said “God, what do you have for me?” And He came out clear as a bell “Delete your social media.”
“All of it, God? Facebook?”
“Yes.”
“Instagram?”
“Yes.”
“Anything else?”
“Don’t check tiktok or pinterest.”
“ok”
“Delete Pandora, too.”
“Ok.”
My first thoughts were wondering what I was going to do with all that time. And also, what would I listen to? But then I was hit with this immense sense of freedom!
I have this sense that as much as anybody is on social media they also don’t want to be there. Having a personal algorithm that feeds us more content than connection may feel like a caring friend, but it keeps us from cultivating the connections that are life-giving. Social media designed to polarize and divide us, but never convict us in our own thoughts. We can hide behind our screens and treat other people as targets for our differing opinions and spite. We forget that humans are on the other end and that we all have our own range of thoughts and feelings that are affected by our environments.
For me, it took my attention and made me angry, irritable, and anxious. I never heard my kids the first time, and I would snap at them for interrupting me. I found myself longing for my phone and wishing my kids wouldn’t need me so much. My free time would melt away and I’d finish my days feeling unsatisfied and my brain fuzzy before exhaustedly falling asleep.