I have a lot of things “wrong” with my body. Most of them have to deal with food, but all of them can weigh on my mind in different ways.
Any time I do a new intake form for a doctor, I inevitably forget something… about my own body.
So, let’s dig into it. I’ll probably still miss something! I’m going to list what ails me and what I do about it to live as normal of a life as possible.
Hypoglicemia
This is my largest encompassing diagnosis. I can’t have large amount of simple carbohydrates without my blood sugar both climbing high and dropping low. No, it’s not diabetes, or insulin resistance. My body produces the correct amount of insulin for the food I eat, but it’s on a delay. So my blood sugar gets a little high before my pancreas kicks into gear, but it keeps going even after I’ve finished eating and my blood sugar has stopped going up. This causes my blood sugar to drop quickly instead of gradually.
How I manage my hypoglicemia is eating a low-carb diet of largely whole foods, consuming apple cider vinegar before eating higher carb foods – even apples or bananas, and by taking pancreas-supporting supplements, including cinnamon.
Psoriasis
After my oldest was born, my elbows started itching. They looked like Turkey skin and prompted a dermatologist appointment. I was diagnosed with psoriasis and given a cream to help my skin heal.
i did my own digging and found that palm oil was the ingredient that caused my flare-ups. It was tricky to pin-point because it would take 8-14 days from consuming foods with palm oil until my elbows would get patches of psoriasis.
There have been times where I’ve had flare-ups on my elbows, knees, and ankles and it is painful. But when I focus on eating well, and not what I know I shouldn’t, it clears up on its own in four weeks. Honestly, that’s too long to be itching and in pain, so I usually use topical medication to get me through to when my skin is healthy.
Duane Syndrome
This is my most recent official diagnosis. It’s an eye condition that basically means my left eye has very restricted movement. Why no optometrist had diagnosed me with this is my 20+ years of wearing glasses, I don’t know. I’ve had it my whole life and there’s no fixing it. It just means my eyes won’t track together, but I’m still me. I had a few weeks where I couldn’t not notice it when I looked in the mirror or took a picture.
Celiac Disease
This is not officially diagnosed. But my gut hurts with the tiniest communion wafer, and all of my joints hurt so much immediately after ingesting wheat.
Last night I accidentally ate a trace amount of wheat, and every joint in my body was inflamed. From my neck to my hips, fingers and toes, jaw and ankles, everything. It was miserable. I’m still getting through the effects this morning.
As for treating this, I eat strictly gluten free. I don’t even want to test barley or rye because the pain in my body is not worth the trail and potential error. But since I’m in pain today, I’m also on pain killers until my body has worked the wheat out of my system.
Good thing I’m my best self living on a low-carb diet and that I don’t have a taste for beer!
Super-ventricular Tachycardia (SVT)
This one is weird. I have a heart condition. I can go from fine, to my heart racing between 180-200 bpm, when it triggers, and then drop! back into normal rhythm. The trigger: bending with my head below my heart. The culprit: sugar.
If I weren’t already avoiding sugar from the Hypoglicemia, this one makes sure of it. When I’ve had a little sugar (I’m talking 10 grams of added sugar) and I bend down, it feels like my heart is a cup that is full to the brim and I’m trying not to spill it while also tipping it to the side. It’s uncomfortable and I never know if it’s going to “spill over” and send my heart rate to 200, or if I’ll stand up and be fine. If it does send me into an episode, I have to breathe deep and let it ride all the way to peak heart rate, and then I have to flip back over. I have to do the same motion that got me into trouble to get out of trouble. It’s not comfortable putting your head below your heart when you feel like you may pass out from rapid heart rate.
The game is not worth the gamble, so I avoid most sugar. I will use small amounts of sauces, but even that is infrequent. I should probably quit altogether, but barbecue sauce without sugar just isn’t the same!
Food Allergies
I define a food allergy as anything eaten that gives me a negative effect directly resulting from consuming said food. A stomach ache from over-indulging is not an allergy. Getting gut-cramps and a headache after eating eggs is an allergy.
So, yes, I’m allergic to eggs. I have those symptoms after eating them, so I do not eat eggs. No omelettes, no meringues, no mayonnaise. Crepes, frittata, and Yorkshire pudding are out. Potato salad will never be the same. Breakfast will never be the same. But I’m not risking the horrible negative effects just to have some scrambled eggs in the morning.
Dairy. I have anaphylaxis if I have dairy.
Cutting down on dairy products started in 2017 when I diagnosed myself as lactose intolerant. Even then, I drank lactose free milk and had cultured dairy, but cheese and butter have been out for ages. All of my babies reacted negatively to breastfeeding when I drank milk, so I’ve had periods of quitting dairy entirely.
But! When I was pregnant with Andrew, I could eat any kind of dairy. And believe me, I did! I enjoyed ice cream, Mac and cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and every kind of milk I hadn’t had in years! I knew it wouldn’t last forever because it was a pregnancy thing, but it came to a screeching halt when Andrew was 2 months old. I was eating buttered pieces of cheese (don’t judge: it’s delicious) and my throat started to itch. I ignored it because I was in an “I do what I want” mood, and I ate 2 more pieces. Then my throat hurt. Like, bad.
Because of my selfish want of cheese and butter, I threw myself into anaphylaxis and could barely speak for three days. I have had small exposures to dairy since and immediately feel the effects on my throat. I am not interested in a heightened performance, so I avoid all forms of dairy now.
Chocolate. Yup. I am a girl and I can’t have chocolate. It makes me crazy. Literally. The last time I ate chocolate I got so mad at my hair that I would have shaved my head, if I hadn’t known it was just chocolate-induced crazy. I don’t know what it is, but I’m not the only one: my mom’s best friend is the sweetest lady, but if she has chocolate she will cuss you out 6 ways to Sunday. My mom, herself, would get a hangover after eating chocolate as a teen. My oldest daughter goes into a blind rage within an hour of eating chocolate, and she won’t remember a thing afterward. Other family members have strange or scary dreams and there’s just too much evidence pointing to chocolate as the culprit to ignore.
Caffeine. There was once a time in college where I drank a really strong cup of coffee, helped my dad cut down a huge rotting evergreen tree and haul a lot of it away, then I went to work and started during the middle of a huge rush and after it was done I was still full of jitters and had uncharacteristic behaviors like being jumpy and moving altogether too fast. My manager asked me what was wrong with me as I stood shaking from the effects of caffeine, and I just said “I drank coffee!”
I am already prone to be anxious when things are “off” in my body, but caffeine is a sure-fire way to take me there! I try my best to avoid being anxious, so that means that I have to avoid consuming caffeine.
I so wish I could drink coffee, because it smells so good and is a hot drink that isn’t chocolate and doesn’t require sugar, but I can’t. I can’t have caffeinated sodas, black or green tea, or energy drinks in the slightest. They’re all too much for me.
So this rounds out my list. Whenever people ask what I can’t eat, I count it out on my fingers to 7: wheat, dairy, eggs, palm oil, chocolate, sugar, and caffeine. That and eating lower-carb keep me pretty well in check.