“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Psalms 121:1-2
This week has been a roller coaster. I have been anxious one day and in a completely messy house. Then the next day, keeping on top of everything, cleaning, having fun, laughing and feeling like my best self! Just for the next day to return to being anxious and in a messy house.
I don’t know how I got into this cycle but maybe it’s because, my “cycle” just started! That, and I am trying to get back into eating low-carb because I know that it is best for me. But even though I know it’s what is best for me, it is still really hard to transition to. Especially when you love to eat rice, like I do. And when your period starts on day two, which is usually the transition day that I am cranky and anxious while cutting out carbs in the first place. My hormones made it worse ten-fold.
This is the week that winter decided to show up and it showed up hard. A week ago, there was no snow and it was 35° or 40° daily. Right now, I’d be happy if it got up to 0°. It is frigid and deeply, deeply cold. The wind chill makes it worse and the air hurts my face if I’m out in it for more than about 8 seconds.
While I’m still in the midst of this, and today was a half-and-half day of good and anxious, cleaning and a mess, sunny yet beyond frozen, I am processing what I need and what has helped me this week. Here’s what I’ve come up with.
I need things to be easy
Food has been the biggest transition piece of the week and I needed it to be easy. So I have been relying on soup prep that I did on Sunday, oily roast vegetables, and peanut butter. My week has not had a lot of variety in it, though it has had a lot of nutrients from there being vegetables in everything that I have meal prepped.
I also decided this week that the kids are OK to have soup for lunch every day, just like me. It makes lunch so much easier if we all eat the same thing and my kids actually like soup, they even ask for more broth if I don’t give them enough. Simplifying all four of us – me and the three kids – eating the same lunch has been so nice.
I need rest
I don’t have the quick energy of eating carbohydrates right now and I have been so tired this week. So I have been resting and I have been letting the kids watch a little extra TV so that I can catch up on things like showering or doing the laundry while they are entertained. This isn’t something that I always like to do or that I always allow but it is something that helped me a lot this week.
I need sunshine
We went to the insectarium this week and we also went sledding – before this terrible cold snap came. Those two days were my good days. I wasn’t anxious. I laughed with the kids. I felt like myself so those days of getting sunlight and being out with the kids helped a lot. Also, enjoying my kids and having fun helped ease my anxiety and felt like a flow I want to be in.
Every day, I have to open my curtains and blinds. Even with the freezing temperatures, I still want as much natural light as possible. When the blinds are closed, I feel like my senses are muted. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do know that natural light, even through a window, helps me feel more calm and present.
I need forward motion, even just a little
Right now it is -22° outside and windy. The van is too cold to start but I hope that it just needs to thaw a bit and come up to more reasonable temperatures. I couldn’t leave the house even if I wanted to. Which means I have been home and staring at all the clutter in my house. While this has had its moments of frustration, it has also had some breakthrough moments of taking care of stuff that has long needed attention.
Today, I cleared off the school bookcase so that I could put the school books back on top instead of them being in my bedroom, where they were for the holidays.
My husband had a rare moment of decluttering and went through three bins of T-shirts. He kept one bin, decided to make another bin into rags, and he donated the last bin. That is huge progress for him and I am proud of him.
He took three boxes and two garbage bags full of decluttered items, from Christmas onward, to Goodwill today. He drove the car that is newly and safely protected in the garage.
Even though this cold snap is brutal and has made us be in our house for a few days, we are still getting stuff out of the house, and that feels pretty good!
I need to remember none of this last forever
Nothing stays the same for long. Not the cold. Not periods. Not the transition mood-swings that come with dietary changes. None of it. Even parental sleep deprivation changes. (Remember those newborn days? I don’t: I was too tired!) Knowing that everything is in a constant state of change is somehow encouraging. This won’t last forever.
I need Jesus
When I’m in survival mode I often look at my circumstances and get a bit, well, selfish. Narcissistic, even. Like I can’t see anything beyond of own suffering and like I’m the only one effected.
This could not be farther from the truth. The weather is not an isolated experience, where I am the only one to know or be affected by it. Neither is needing God. We all need God, whether we like to admit it or not.
So when I’m looking at the bitter cold and a frozen vehicle, I need to remember these are the wind and the waves, and I’m going to sink if I focus on my circumstances. But when I look to Jesus, I trust that He has plans for incredible things that I could never do without Him.
Looking to God in hard circumstances is not a natural instinct for humans who want to work their way out of their own troubles. But looking at Jesus and asking for help, he will pull us through because He loves us. He doesn’t always take away our trials, but He promised to travel through them with us. And that is how there is peace inside that isn’t shaken by the storms we all face.
One thing at a time
So while I wait for the cold snap to end, I am taking it one clean-or-messy-house at a time; one item-put-away-or-decluttered; one meal-made-from-the-same-food; one extremely-cold-stuck-at-home-day at a time; and one prayer-clinging-to-Jesus at a time. Because I know that if I look to Jesus to keep my head above water and keep moving forward, He will gradually get us to the other side of all of it.
Just like that upward curve I see in the weather forecast, I know that with help from the Holy Spirit, I, too, can look forward to an upturn in my house, my eating habits, my mentality, spiritual health, inner peace, and even my sleep.
What are some things that help you survive in a survival-mode week? What do you do when there’s deep-cold weather? Leave me a comment below!