Leaving Comparison for Contentment

”Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.“
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

”For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.“
‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Something that I sometimes take for granted is my lack of comparing myself. At the time I’m writing this, it has been 2 years since I logged out of social media. And, aside from the ease of Facebook marketplace, I don’t miss it at all.

I don’t miss seeing ads more than friends. I don’t miss curated images of perfect homes. I don’t miss the endless stream of “should’s” adding to my to-do list.

The Trap

Social media makes perfection seem important, expected, and yet unattainable.

Looking at perfect homes through the lens of comparison makes my humble home with blueberry stained carpet feel like it isn’t good enough.

Seeing moms with full hair and makeup making their children fancy lunches, which I can assume the children actually eat, makes my messy-bun-and-chicken-nuggets self feel like I’m missing something.

Even seeing parents of young kids have a regular date night out somehow downgrades my post-bedtime couch hangout time with my husband from comfortable to not enough.

If I keep going, I may get the sads. Because comparison is designed to make us see what we are missing!

We all know that comparison is a trap, but where does the trap go? What do we get caught in when we compare ourselves to others?

When I compare myself to others, I feel inadequate, depressed, and like I’m missing out: as if I am the only one who hasn’t hit that particular bar.

If I compare my life to someone else’s and try to attain it, I have the potential to cause a lot of damage to my finances (if I go buy everything I someone having), my relationships (by trying to be someone who I really am not the same as), my faith (from being focused my me instead of God), and my self worth (by equating self to stuff).

The Fight

While I regularly had to check myself on my media-less journey, and it has become less often as time has gone on, I still need to remind myself – or, more likely, God hits the smack-down button – and remember to stop comparing myself.

I have a friend who recently moved from my neighborhood. They have a beautiful brand new house with oodles of space and a large grassy backyard. It’s beautiful. There are views from every window, storage in spades, and no neighbors out the back door. And I am so happy for her.

I’m not jealous. I can appreciate that she has a beautiful house while also not coveting it.

She and I have different lives with different choices, decisions, and dynamics. I am not her and she is not me.

I have adapted to keep my eyes on my own road and to stay in my own lane.

The Escape

I cannot claim to have gotten to this point quickly, or by myself. It is a cumulative result of spending time with Jesus and handing myself to Him, daily, to shape me and remove what isn’t part of His picture of me. Of saying no to easy scrolling. Resisting the pull of “one more video” on YouTube (which, if I’m honest, I still fall into regularly). Or of looking through Pinterest-perfect pictures or other people’s lives.

That’s the key: it’s not my life.

My life looks different than yours. My prayer life and Bible reading are unique to me, as I hope yours are to you.

But how do you escape comparison?

You do something else. You do something that’s countercultural and not like what you see in the people that you’re comparing yourself to. You keep to your home, not your home page. You work on feeling content, not consuming other’s content. You don’t put things out there for people to see from the outside, but you do things for how you feel inside your mind, body, and soul.

Getting off of social media is not the norm for our day. With over 87% people in America using social media every day, you might feel left out for a while. But the peace that comes from stepping away from comparing yourself is incomparable.

Conclusion

Even thought the beginning may feel like depravity – and you may wonder why you suddenly are checking the weather 10 times per day – you’ll get used to living in your life and not in your phone.

The more you are in tune with who God wants you to be the less you’ll care about tuning into what other people are highlighting online. When you stop comparing yourself, you get to pay attention to becoming who God created you to be, and that’s pretty amazing.