”In all labor there is profit, But idle chatter leads only to poverty.“
Proverbs 14:23
”The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.“
Proverbs 13:4
I was having tea with a friend today, and in our conversation, we talked about our different struggles, wishing they would resolve on their own without work, and to magically have healthy bodies, obedient children, good marriages, and enough sleep. All without changing how we do things or putting in a lot of work, thank you!
“I want it all,”I told her, “but I don’t want to have to work for it!” Healing is a lot of work and I want to be healed (from various things, knowing that food helps me in the process) but I don’t wanna have to do the hard work right now. Can’t having it all be easy?
She spoke wisdom when she told me “You have to choose your hard.”
Choosing Which Path
I’ve heard that before about parenting – choose the hard road when they’re little or have an even harder road when they’re grown – but I had never shifted that lens onto myself. What do I have that is hard that I’m choosing? What choices am I making by not making a choice? What can I make easier by working harder?
It’s hard having a weak body, being tired, having no energy, eating easy food with low nutritional value, and feeling walked all over. These things leave me feeling drained and defeated, and that’s not a place I want to stay.
It’s also hard to work out, go to bed early, drink lots of water, eat well, do the cooking for my family, and have boundaries. But this hard is the worthwhile hard work that pays off with a better life.
I have journeyed through that worthwhile hard before and it’s amazing! I felt so good! Energized, clearheaded, and I was happy! My family was happy, too. We had really good times in that season where I was very focused on my health, with food, boundaries, movement, and rest to heal me.
The funny thing is that I loved the work. I loved the challenge of feeding myself and my family healthy foods that we could all enjoy. I loved the work of making all of my own food from scratch. I loved the mental benefits from setting up boundaries, protecting my peace, and giving my days over to God’s will. My week had a flow and a rhythm around good and Godly things; that made it easy to stick with.
I read an article by Karen Trefzger titled “Why we should all be doing more work” and it inspired me to put in the hard work to get the reward – which is sweeter after working hard for it, instead of just being given it without working for it at all.
Real Chat
So I have a hard time to choose from right now. I know what can be, but I’m not there now. I stayed in bed this morning until an hour and a half after the kids were up just not wanting to start the day. I’m not depressed. However, I am anxious about kidney stones, I haven’t planned meals in weeks, and I react to things all day long and I just didn’t wanna start doing or dealing with that yet.
But the day started whether I was ready or not. It started with a bag of frozen peas being dumped on the floor and left. It started with kids fighting. It started with disappointing my daughter for not showing up to her “pizza party” she was throwing in her bedroom at 7 AM. And it started with me having to peptalk myself to get up out of bed.
That’s not how I wanna be. I want to be organized and healthy and excited to spend time with the kids and ready for the day and have a plan that aligns with my God-given purpose. I want to plan meals, have plans for activities, homeschooling, home projects, laundry, vacuuming, and all the other normal cleaning and maintenance that comes with my life! But I can’t make those plans unless I plan to take care of my soul, body, and spirit first.
Adults do what they want
Something I’ve recently realized is “I do what I want” doesn’t only apply to toddlers trying to exert control over their young lives. Did you know no one can make you do anything? You have to do it yourself. Your alarm clock doesn’t make you get up: you do. Your boss doesn’t make you go to work: you do. Your kids don’t drive you crazy: you get there by how you respond to them. God doesn’t stop pursuing you: you stop seeking Him.
So my plan to take care of myself tonight is to write this, tidy my living room, do my personal journaling (which I’ve skipped for the last few days), to tell my husband I love him, to read my Bible, and go to bed.
It might be a tall order of plans to happen within one hour, but I want this. I want this early bedtime. I want enough rest. I want a clear head to make the right choices and feel more ready for my day, and thus ready for my life, instead of just reacting, day in and day out!
Conclusion
So in the vein of “wanting it all” I have to start small to get there. I want it all, but I can’t have it all right now. But just because I can’t have all of it now doesn’t mean that I can’t have some now. My first domino is enough rest. So that I can make the good choices of food, and have the energy to prep and cook it, so I’m not scrambling at ever meal time. This will lead to having more energy; and that will lead to getting to do the house projects and the house work feeling less burdensome and becoming the person I know I can be, yet again!
So for tonight, I am choosing rest instead of productivity, instead of pushing myself to try to have it all, I’m starting, with the first block of taking care of myself in the most basic way: resting and giving everything over to God. And that’s enough for me.