“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13
“Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalms 37:4
I have this dream of being a writer. Of having uninterrupted hours each day where I can think deeply, create, write, and edit. At the end of those hours each week there is something meaningful, encouraging, or thought-provoking to post on my blog.
After a few years of that, I start writing a book, on top of my blogging routine. It could be about homeschooling, decluttering, decorating (because I’ll have had a few more years of trying at that point, and this is my dream, ok?), DIY projects as a mom with little power tool knowledge or comfortability, strength training with kids around, or a topical or yearly devotional.
I see it being any of those, because each of those topics are also part of me.
I have a dream of my life having meaning and getting it out in words to encourage others to love their lives as well.
Taking my time
What’s stopping me? The biggest thing is time.
I have three children who are with me 14-24 hours a day (co-sleeping with a preschooler still happens some nights). I homeschool. I cook, clean, make small home repairs, and change paint colors when I’m bored. I also side-hustle a very low-maintenance vending machine. I make changes to our living room layout, and I’ve tried every configuration of furniture that could possibly work. I enjoy changing things within my control, and furniture easily ticks that box.
I’m starting to workout without a program map to tick off, or a set number of minutes or days to hit each week. I’m exercising to feel good and it feels so good! I don’t want to let go of this one, even for a minute.
My hair is also something that takes time, unless I want to look like a buzzard! Washing it is not a daily task, but I’m still wading through the waters of curly hair maintenance.
All of these things take time. Some days they take all of my time.
Where does writing fit in?
At the risk of a pun: in the margins. (Who am I kidding, I love a good pun!)
I fit it into these moments:
When I’m holding my sleeping toddler before putting him in his bed.
When everyone is playing nicely and the dishes are taken care of.
When I’m getting ready to rinse off after a workout.
When everyone is strapped into their car seats and the kids have their favorite story podcast on.
These margins are small, but when I add them together they’re far from nothing.
Taking Turns
I have a children’s book from the library called “A Day with the Bellyflops” and in it the mom tries all day to get two hours of work done in her new shed-turned-office. She has three kids who have promised to be good while she’s working, but things keep happening and they need her. She gets to the end of a tiring (yet completely relatable day) and finally goes out to do her two hours of work while everyone else gets to go to sleep.
This book may be about an illustrated pig family, but it could have easily been about my house and children. I wasn’t expecting to feel so seen by a children’s book.
I can empathize with feeling like there is no time for “more” when the kids are little. It has taken me a lot of time (read: “years”) to gain the ground of expanding to what I’m capable of in a day now. But even with focused change, I still can’t do it all every day, or on my own.
My life can feel scattered when I try to focus on everything all at once. I bet yours does, too.
So everything gets a turn. It isn’t always perfect like loop-planning, but everything does have its chance to happen.
I get my first turn after the kids have had breakfast and are doing some morning free-play. That’s when I do my morning prayers and stretches.
My next turn comes after we’ve done our group school subjects and the first independent learning block. (That all sounds so fancy, but basically it’s me reading the Bible, a small science devotional for kids, and reading comprehension activities with all the kids, and then making my oldest do a single page of math. It takes 30 minutes on a good day, but if it takes longer they really need to go play by the end of it.) This turn of mine is when I get the kitchen picked up from the morning and make myself some breakfast. It’s usually soup or bone broth. Either one takes 3 minutes in the microwave so I clean the kitchen while it’s heating. (If you haven’t tried having meal-prepped soup for breakfast, you don’t know what you’re missing out on: Not thinking, that’s what. You’re missing out on making one less decision. And for a decision-fatigued mom, one less choice makes a difference)
The next turn is when I turn on the tv for the kids and try to get them to watch a slow full-length show before they get into watching a fast and colorful kids show or chocolate ASMR videos. I use this for my workout time. (Yes, I cheat a little and use tv as a babysitter to go workout in the basement. Grown ups are on screens all the time – a little screen time when no one naps in the house any more buys a lot of sanity for me as mom. And it’s an opportunity for my kids to learn to get along and make entertainment decisions together. They know that if they fight, they lose their show time. So, they don’t fight while the tv is on, though they may complain about the choices after it gets turned off for the day.)
Then there are no free turns available until after the kids go to bed. Though they play at 4:00 and I start dinner, I’m not free. If I use this time for other things, we don’t eat a decent dinner. Usually it comes from the freezer or else it’s a smattering of leftovers. Either way, it feels like a lack-luster meal to end the day with: leftovers are for lunches.
So 4:00 is when I have dinner on my mind. I roast, marinate, chop, sauté, or otherwise get the kitchen ready to produce the last meal of our day. I take care of any dishes before I get dinner going so as to not have a pile-up after dinner. This works for me, so I’m not going to mess with it (until it no longer works, then you bet it’s getting flipped around like a sofa in my living room!).
My bedtime routine is also precious to me. I get myself ready for bed in the bathroom and the journal and read my Bible in bed. And if I blog too much at night, (like I am tonight) I won’t get enough sleep.
Small but Mighty Margins
There is a lot of my life that is the same each day. It’s the grind, the rhythm, the routine. Whatever you call it: it’s my life. And I love my life.
Everything gets a turn. Nothing gets done perfectly. I’m using my word-of-the-year “Grace” with everything I can think to remember using it for. And life’s seasons slowly change without my trying.
So, for now, I’ll keep my writing in the margins.
(But I’m making those margins HUGE when my season for dream-come-true-writing comes! So, look out! – in like, 8 years.)