“Her children rise up and call her blessed”
How lovely it would be to be the Proverbs 31 woman. My children wake up and tell me they’re hungry as they scramble into my bed. Maybe this is why “she arose while it was yet night”?
I know as wives and mothers we tend to negatively compare ourselves to her in what we feel we lack. For instance “she girds her arms with strength” – girlfriend worked out!! “Ugh! I wish I had time to work out! How can I possibly have time to strengthen my body when so much else rests on my shoulders and I can’t squat that kind of weight yet?!” I can so easily get sidetracked by what I don’t do for myself.
But here’s the thing to remember: the Bible is the whole picture, not just this single chapter.
There are seasons of getting everything done and having energy to spare, killing it, working like a boss, owning and commanding your life and home. … And there are seasons of feeling like everything is meaningless. Like there is no point to anything because we all die at the end and can’t bring anything with us.
These two chapters in the Bible are right next to each other: Proverbs 31 and Ecclesiastes 1. Written by, quite possibly, the same guy, just at different seasons of his life.
My career was an early-bird bakers one. I was at work at 5 AM at least once a week and getting to work after 7 AM (which only happened a handful of times) was just too late. My alarm would go off somewhere between 4:00-4:45 AM depending on the day. I would do my morning routine and get out the door in 45 minutes; dressed, fed, and mentally ready for a decision load to fall on me for the following 8-9 hours.
And I loved it.
Now… I get woken up by my children every morning and am nowhere near ready to start the daily load of responsibilities and really just wish my children weren’t such early-risers. The audacity of them waking up at or before 6 AM boggles my mind. Every. Day.
Why do I have such a hard time grasping my reality? I know my kids don’t sleep late. I know I do much better when I can wake up without them. I can’t wake up well and early if I don’t get to bed early. And yet, I stay up past 11:00 multiple times per week and wonder why I’m grouchy, impatient, overstimulated, and touched-out when I’m only 5 hours into my day.
I can’t be the woman whose children rise up and call her blessed when I’m not actually awake before them.
As much as I don’t want to, I need to lead by example. I don’t use the word “Adulting” but maybe this is an instance where I could use that energy and just do the hard thing that I don’t want to do.
Go to bed.
That’s hard. Somehow. And yet not, if I stop being stupid and stubborn about it.
Our culture says that we need time to ourselves, away from our family, homes, and responsibilities.
Wanna know what doesn’t say that?
Proverbs 31.
We can’t go around comparing ourselves to this biblical example of an amazing precious-ruby of a wife and woman, while buying into the thought that we need to be away from our homes and children in order to take care of ourselves. We cannot have it both ways.
And while I would love to have some time by myself at a coffee shop alone in the middle of the morning, maybe it would be better to be alone in my own house before anyone else is awake. To rise “while it is yet night to provide food for (my) household.”
Maybe then when my kids wake up and tell me they are hungry, I’ll be ready for them. And I’ll be smiling instead of hiding in my blankets hoping they will go back to sleep or at least leave me alone.
(See? I really need this attitude change. I’ll check back in as I make this heart shift and set an alarm.)